Productive things to do when you have no "Projects" to do

Let this be a disclaimer that I use the word “productive” in an alternative sense.  No, this will in no way be productive for whatever your job may be.  I’m assuming that if you have free time on your hands, you also have paper cuts on your hands from all that envelope stuffing you finished.  And that you’ve completed the work set out for you.  Great stapling, you guys.  Keep it up.

I use “productive” as an encompassing term for “Not G-chatting, Facebook browsing, Facebook chatting, or tweeting”.  (Although, as an aside, I would like to state that, depending on whom you follow, I think reading you Twitter feed is an extremely productive break to take, as I’ve learned more relevant and globe-wide information from it in 30 seconds than I did watching “Action News”.  I’m sorry, but if you’re calling “Heat Means Business for Local Ice Company” a top story, you should change your name to “Action Snooze”.)  I also would put a hint of suggestion that it does not include creating office supply art.  These activities all involve a productive pursuit of information that can enrich your relationships, taste and knowledge… and not look blatantly obvious that you are in no way contributing to company advancement. 

1   1. Google your co-workers:  Before I go any further, I want to say this: Stop judging me for teetering on the edge of stalking.  I am well behind the line. I have a bone to pick with anyone who tells me that Googling people is stalking them.  This information is on the internet.  It is public domain. Stalking implies illicit behavior obtained in evasive and non-consensual ways. NEWSFLASH: If I can see it on the internet, I don’t need your permission to look. This is all fair game.  I know your first name, I know your last name, I know the alphabet, so I can type it into a search bar. Stop doing weird things in life if you don’t want Google to know about it.  If you won’t accept my compliment of how cute your 2010 holiday picture-card of you and your dog playfully wrestling in your living room is and you’re not going to appreciate the congratulations I’m giving you for coming in 54^th out of 60 in the Turkey Trot winter track classic, then you need an attitude adjustment. Or you need to start signing information release waivers/terms of privacy forms more carefully. 

Anyway, now that I’ve made my opinion on the matter clear, Googling your co-workers is a perfectly legal and engaging activity to do in your free time.  Chances are that they Googled you before your interview, too. (Have you checked what the internet is offering up about you lately? Run, don’t walk….) Forget stalking people on Facebook.  Facebook is amateur hour wearing rose colored glasses; it only shows what the page owner wants you to see. Google is the no-holds-bar jungle for the nitty-gritty details of the past and present. 

For example, I found out that one of my co-workers did some amateur modeling in 2008 and he has many glamour shots plastered on the internet (which would be perfectly legal for me to share on this blog post but I’m not going to because I’m learning to have internet manners…although if I did share it I would hope he would thank me for the free publicity). I also found out that another one is into theater and that he just recently starred in a community production of “Oklahoma!” .  Maybe if people knew he spent his evening hours in long rehearsals they would cut him some slack on coming in late. All I have to say is WOW! How was I supposed to know that these two nurses were so involved with the arts when you would never think of the two to go hand-in-hand?  And wouldn’t you agree that these are some pretty good leads for conversation that can develop into fruitful work-place friendships? There you have it: productivity.

“Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I saw this picture, is that you on the runway?”

   2.  Merriam-Webster games: There are few things more unimpressive than someone with a menial vocabulary. Like…did you just skip that part of the SATs?  All pretentious sarcasm aside, it’s not a bad idea to expand your vocabulary as you begin to enter the adult world and recuperate the brain cells you lost to Pinnacle Whipped. But alas, this website is more than just a dictionary.  If you have anything more than an 10^th grade education, this website can boost your confidence and ego through their daily quizzes.  Quizzes range from trivia true-and-false to visual and verbal vocabulary tests and are different each time you take them. The best part is that, at the end, they tell you where you rank in the pool of quiz-takers overall and for your age.  So if no one’s telling you that you’re a genius at the office after you spent all that time alphabetizing the file folders, take this quiz to enrich your knowledge and feel a moment of triumphant superiority in your low-totem pole job.  Once again: productivity.

   3. Randora: Everyone listens to music in the office, as it is acceptable practice and links to  increased PRODUCTIVITY, what do ya know?!  Listening to music is office protocol and Pandora is the front-runner to provide that service.  It helps you listen to your favorite artists while learning a new song or two along the way.  Look how cultured you can become when a Spanish song pops on your Shakira radio! This is a game I created after my friend told me she was listening to Samantha Mumba Pandora radio.  I’m sorry, what? Do you know who Samantha Mumba is? (See: NOW  6)   If you don’t, then you obviously weren’t trying to be hipster and unique in third grade by doing your music class presentation on her instead of Britney or Christina…not that I did that…did you know she’s African-American from Ireland?

Moving on.  The point is that my first thought was, “What a random artist.  I wonder what comes on that station?” Well, from curiosity grew greatness: Randora. Pick the most random artist you can think of.  Type it in, and watch your music horizons expand to territories you would never guess.  You could even turn it into a “6 Degrees of Separation” type deal and try to get from the Baha Men to Mozart based on jumping from random station to random station.  

Baha Men Pandora Station Song Selections:

Eifel 65- Blue (da ba dee)

Smashmouth- I’m a Believer

Alvin and the Chipmunks- “Witch Doctor”

Haddaway- “What is Love?”

Queen- “We Will Rock You”.

And it just gets better and better…it’s on to Eifel 65 radio for me, right after a stroll down memory lane….